Teaching Kids to Protect The Family Name

“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Proverbs 22:1.

Your Signature Statement

Your signature is a snapshot of your personality, a legal verification of your identity. When you sign your name your signature is the image you leave behind that represents who you are. Graphology is the study of handwriting samples in order to discover more about the writer. Graphologist claim they can analyze the psychological state of the writer and determine a person’s level of authenticity, social competence, creativity, self-image, and sense of humor by analyzing the handwritten samples. Whether graphologists can accurately predict a person’s traits based on handwriting samples is questionable but the value of having a good name is undeniable. To be approved for a home loan or pass a background check your name must be in good standing. Future business opportunities, social relationships, and choices in life can be negatively impacted by a damaged name.

Why teach children the benefit of a good name?

Warren Buffett said, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” In our instant access world there are numerous opportunities to damage a good name . We are a click or Google search away from discovering a neighbor’s past criminal activity, a baby sitter's indecent behavior on Facebook, or spring break pictures of a potential employee posted on My Space. Although it’s always been important for parents to teach children the value of a good name, today it's imperative.

Names, whether deserved or undeserved, are tied to reputations and with a single a click of a button a good name can be ruined. Just look at David Hasselhoff, Tiger Woods, Representative Anthony Weiner and you can easily see no one is immune to damaging a good name. Once a name has been tarnished it is difficult to repair. In fact, it is so difficult to repair a damaged name that there are reputation management services you can hire to do the job for you.

If you are a parent who wants to teach your child the benefits of having a good name I'm sure you understand that outside pressure alone rarely leads to lasting change in a child. In other words, children need to decide for themselves the value of their name. In order to accomplish this, parents can discuss the benefits that come from having a good name with their child, instead of just telling their child what "not to do". This approach allows the child to recognize and own the idea for his or herself.

1. A good name protects your values. It’s important that children understand that a good name represents the values they and their family uphold (i.e. decency, kindness, authenticity). Our culture is full of fantasy escape through television, movies, video games, reality shows, and online social networks. As children begin to understand how their conduct, in person and online, reflects their values to those around them, they can start to see the benefit of having a good name. This represents living by your values or priorities. You can read more about this in the article "Tips for Parenting by Priority."

2. A good name invites opportunity. Many articles have been written on how to improve concentration and focus in young children because children tend to live in the moment, not thinking about future consequences of their behavior. It’s important that parents remind children that every time they post something to Facebook, text message a friend, or write something down they leave their signature. In other words, everything they type, write, post, say, or email is a reflection of who they are, where they came from, and what they represent. Those signatures they leave behind can either open or close the door to a future opportunity. A good name invites opportunity. As Ernest Bramah said, “A reputation for a thousand years may depend upon the conduct of a single moment.”

3. A good name speaks for itself. If you have a good name you do not need to frequently defend your values or restate your beliefs because your name speaks for itself. People with a good name live authentically. Authentic people are true to their word and therefore do not worry about having a name that speaks for itself. It’s important for children to know that their name often precedes them. In other words, before the child has an opportunity to meet someone else, attend a camp, or become a member of a team their good name will speak for itself.

4. A good name is the most important sound we hear. Dale Carnegie said in his book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People, that “a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in the English language.” One way parents can encourage children to understand the benefits of a good name is to frequently repeat the family name. For example, when your child protects a kid who is being bullied at school you could say something like, “Son I'm proud of you for showing the world how we Smiths help to protect those who are being picked-on”. Parents can be influential role-models in teaching children how a good name is the most important sound they hear.

5. A good name commands respect. A good name commands respect from others without a need to explain, argue, or convince otherwise. The 8^th commandment says, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16). One of the most powerful ways to positively influence another person is by respecting the good name of your friends and acquaintances. Before children recognize the benefits of having a good name they need to see their parents respecting the good name of the people they come in contact with. In other words, children need to see their parents demonstrate that the good name of their friends, neighbors, and teachers commands respect.

The Most Important Name

Since it is difficult to polish a tarnished name, it's crucial that children understand that the most important name they will ever encounter is their own. Everything they do and/or say is either a choice to protect their good name or potentially destroy it. Children who believe in the benefits of having a good name find their name to be, as Socrates said, the richest jewel they possess.