Your 7 year old Child

According to Louise Bates Ames, Ph.d., in her book "Your Seven-Year-Old Life in a Minor Key ", a 7-year-old child is caught in the middle of the cheerfulness of a 6-year-old and the expansiveness of an 8-year-old. I refer to 7-year-olds as living in an age of withdrawal. After school many 7-year-olds are contented to be in their room reading a new book, listening to a story, or riding their bikes alone.

Dr. Ames says that although 7-year-olds can be a little melancholy they can also be fun and delightful as long as the parent is prepared to accept the child's mood changes and sensitivities. The 7-year-old is better able to think through thoughts, feelings, and behaviors before acting and often overextends him or herself past the point of exhaustion.

Children of this age engage in various quirky behaviors. For example, you might frequently find your 7-year-old child in awkward positions. My 7-year-old boy likes to stand on his head with his feet pointed up in the air as he balances himself with one toe on the couch and extends his left arm out to strike a pose. Other quirky behaviors typical of 7-year-old children include nervously tapping their pencils or feet, withdrawing to their bedroom, slamming their bedroom door when upset, or being prone to feeling misunderstood.

There are many different traits found in 7-year-old kids. All kids are unique and therefore some of these traits will not apply. However development does have some level of consistency. According to Dr. Ames, a 7-year-old child can alternate between states of equilibrium and disequilibrium in development. Traits a child demonstrates can also be influenced by a variety of internal and external factors. So with a grain of salt, here are 10 interesting traits she found in 7-year-old kids.

1. Defensiveness . Many 7-year-old kids tend to think their peers, siblings, parents, and/or teachers are picking on them. For example, your 7-year-old boy might say his brothers are always trying to take his stuff or being mean to him on purpose. Dr. Ames advises parents to take the stories the 7-year-old shares with you about how friends, neighbors, or siblings are intentionally hurting them with a gain of salt. This gloomy outlook many 7-year-olds have is a normal part of development.
2. Worriers . 7-year-olds can get caught up in stages of worry. He or she might worry that starting a new project will be "too difficult" or "too much" for them to take on. She might worry that she will miss the bus or be late for practice. A 7-year-old boy might talk about his minor injuries, bruises, or scrapes for days. Often the 7-year-old child feels like they have "all the bad luck there ever was in the world!" It's important that parents recognize that it is normal for your 7-year old child to experience times where he or she is highly sensitive and often gloomy.
3. Less fearful . Many 7-year-old kids have conquered previous fears they had related to going to the dentist or riding a bike without training wheels. They often begin to face their fears of the dark head on by getting a flashlight to check out the shadows they see on the wall. In other words, they are more independent in dealing with fearful situations than they were at 6-years of age.
4. Absolute . Often 7-year-old kids use absolute words when they communicate with others. For example, a 7-year--old girl might say Mommy "never" plays with me anymore or "My little sister always gets to sit next to Daddy on the couch." As their world begins to extend more toward their peer group they can at times feel that their siblings get preferential treatment from their parents.
5. Gloomy expressions . Because many 7-year-olds experience times of melancholy you might find them with a frown on their face. They tend to tear up easily and then try to hold back the tears, out of embarrassment. The 7-year-old child experiences a wide range of emotions often resulting from their high expectations not being met. They are easily disappointed and are learning that many things they plan in life end up falling below their original expectations.
6. Learner. Most 7-year-old kids love to learn. Many are beginning to read, while others are well established readers. Often 7-year-old kids will listen well to others and enjoy talking things over with adults.
7. Thinker . At this age kids commonly live in their thoughts. They often withdraw from others in order to imagine, observe, and reflect on the new things they are discovering in their world. For example, your 7-year-old might start to observe how the world defines them and think about whether those external definitions align with who they wants to be.
8. Perspective taker. At this age many kids are beginning to listen to what others say and place themselves in the other person's position.They can now take on the other person's perspective and start to understand how there is usually another side to every story.
9. Difficulty with transitions. Most 7-year-olds enjoy seeing a task to completion. Because of this they often experience difficulty switching gears when they are required to stop before they are finished. They need help learning how to transition and prioritize. Many kids this age begin to struggle with perfectionism in their quest to do things just right.
10. Private. At this age many 7-year-olds are embarrassed to be seen unclothed or partially-unclothed. For example, a 7-year-old boy may scream if his two year old sister comes into the bathroom while he is taking a shower. Part of a child's separation and growth toward greater independence is obtained as the child learns protect his or her body boundaries. Respecting his or her own right for privacy is a healthy part of development.

Essentially the 7-year-old child wants to discover more of who they are in the expanding world they live. Although many 7-year-old children might seem less cheerful and happy go lucky than they were at 6-years of age, as they grow older many begin to be more relaxed and lighthearted. As Stephen Covey says, it is important to begin with the end in mind and remember that this age is just one stage in your child's development. It can be harmful to the child if he or she is labeled as being depressed, shy, or withdrawn at this age because melancholy behaviors are characteristics of most 7-year-olds. These traits are described in order to know, more or less, what to expect at this age but keep in mind not every 7-year-old child will experience all these behaviors.

Draw and Tell

1. One person starts a story line.
2. As the story begins another person draws the story.

Animal Charades

1. A child whispers to another child what animal the child will pretend to be.
2. The child pretends to be the animal without using words or sounds.
3. The other children present try to guess the animal the child is pretending to be.

Don't Wake The Bear

1. Choose a child to be the bear.
2. Have the bear pretend to be asleep.
3. Each child should try to pass by the bear without getting caught.
4. Whoever gets caught plays the bear.

What's in the Sock?

1. Find a large sock.
2. One child places several items into the sock without showing the items to the other children. Items can be rocks, pencils, markers, erasers, gum, or anything kids can readily identify.
3. Each child takes a turn placing their hand in the sock without peeking in order to identify the object based on touch alone.
4. The child who identifies the most objects correctly gets to choose the next items that will be hidden in the sock.

Memory Go Round

1. One child starts a sentence with the letter "A". For example, "Alligators have teeth that are very sharp".
2. Then the next child stars a sentence with the letter "B". "Big elephants at the zoo are eating peanuts".
3. This continues through each letter in the alphabet until you get to the letter "Z" or someone forgets which letter is next!

Prepare to Stare

1. Sit in a circle. Pick one child to start the game.
2. The child who starts chooses who he or she will stare at.
3. The child stares at the chosen kid for 30 seconds. If that child who is stared at laughs then that child is out of the game.

More Fun Games Can Be Found Here!